


Next Time I See You

by flootzavut



Series: Next Time [2]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s11e16 Goodbye Farewell and Amen, Epistolary, Friendship, Gen or Pre-Slash, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Post canon, nexttimeverse, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 13:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: Damn you. You made me cry on amilitary transport, Beej! I'm so mad right now.Hawkeye finds the letter BJ wrote him.





	Next Time I See You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Next Time You See Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825356) by [flootzavut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut). 



> I think you probably need to read "Next Time You See Me" for this one to work.

* * *

_**Next Time I See You**_

* * *

 

> Beej,
> 
> You rat bastard! Sneaking that letter into my pocket like a sneaky little sneak! Damn you. You made me cry on a military transport, Beej! I'm so mad right now. If you were here I'd- okay, who am I kidding? I'd probably be so happy to see you I'd just grin like an idiot. ~~If I'd known~~
> 
> Thank you, too. It helped. Having something concrete to hang on to... that helps. It's still helping. I don't know if I should admit how much it means to me that I was on your mind.
> 
> I didn't ever say, but I am sorry you missed Erin's birthday. I know how much you wanted to be there. Part of me's glad, too (I'm sorry), because I needed to say goodbye to you. I would've forgiven you (it's annoyingly hard to stay mad at you), but God, Beej, I needed to say goodbye. (Or 'au revoir', if you prefer. I keep telling myself not to hope, but I can't help it.)
> 
> Part of me wishes you'd told me goodbye at the hospital (that was what you were trying to say, wasn't it? I had no idea. I was so lost in my head, it never even occurred to me). But at the same time, I don't know... I'm not sure how I would've reacted, Beej. So I can't blame you for that, not completely. I know you tried. I'm still mad, but I'm not mad any more. (Except in the crazy way.) I know that doesn't make sense, but I guess I miss you too much to be furious with you at the same time. Mostly I'm angry because ~~I can't~~ because I have no idea when I'll see you next, and that  hurts, Beej. I know it's different for you, you're going back to Peggy and Erin. I love my dad, but it's not the same. It's not the same kind of need or the same kind of family.
> 
> I don't think you can imagine how much I'll miss you, Beej. I don't know if it's possible. ~~I don't know if I can let myself believe~~
> 
> I don't know what I would've done without you in Korea, BJ Hunnicutt. That's the truth of it. You did keep me sane, even if it doesn't seem that way. Yes, I lost my marbles eventually, but that was the war, not you. Never you. I wouldn't have made it out without you. I meant what I said. You've meant so much to me, Beej. So much. I miss you horribly already, and there's a part of me that resents the miles between us so much I could burst. ~~I even resent~~ ~~damn it all~~ I MISS YOU
> 
> Benjamin Franklin Pierce, lost for words. If it weren't here in black and white, you'd never believe it. Neither would I.
> 
> I love you too, you rotten fink, even though I had to pretend I was okay in front of a bunch of Marines when I really wasn't. I'm going to get you back for that one day.
> 
> Please give Peggy my very best and thank her for the loan, and tell little Erin that Crazy Uncle Benjamin sends his love. Or something more- just more. ~~I can't~~ She's your  daughter, Beej, so I love her, of course I do. I just can't. Please understand. I'm trying. It's not that I don't want to. ~~I'm scared~~
> 
> I miss you. I really miss you, Beej. You were right; a letter isn't enough.
> 
> Yours, with love,
> 
> Hawk 

* * *


End file.
